Lip Tattoos= The Opposite of Cool →
Miss Nasty if you're nauseous →
Not Gay →
There’s something in the water.
Well Claymates… better luck next time.
Loveline still exists? Lohan’s hotness makes me wish I was a thirty-year-old DJ.
Why don’t humans know instinctively which fruits to eat the way animals do? I would need several reference books (or at least an iphone) to survive in the woods.
Microwave in Use
Wait a minute. I’ve seen signs that say “microwave in use.” I always thought they were bad for some but not for all. That makes no sense. They must be bad for all.
Someone said to me once (Re: my phone), “Wow, they still make phones without cameras?” Yes. Yes they do. And I have one. Soon it will be one of those hip, vintage electronic museum pieces, like brick sized car phones or phone cords. I met a woman tonight who teaches school. Her student asked her if she was textually active. Brill I say. Brill.
McCain to "fundamentally alter human nature" →
Hackers fucking rule. →
RIP Snowman. Gimme yer hats! →
“There are many styles from formal to cute and funny.” Like the formal ones aren’t funny? It’s a fucking cat hat. They’re ALL funny.
What's the funniest dog toy?
I settled on a plush carrot. I didn’t really care what Tippy thought, or how Tippy would receive the new toy. Ultimately what was most important was how funny it would be to watch her play with it. Indeed, dog toys are inherently funny because we humans get to choose what our dogs shake dead. Being vegan, I naturally chose the squeaking carrot. It’s like those playgrounds that are...
Keep the radio on softly so it sounds like two people in the next room, maybe...– Nick Flynn
This reminds me of my gay friend Kurtis, but only...
The dawn was breaking the bones of your heart like twigs. You had not expected...– Richard Siken
Six Feet Under Haiku
Don’t buy sealed caskets. The body can’t decompose; explodes from pressure.
Broken Heart Haiku
your tissues balled up on the table were furious, smudged with eyeliner
Some Kind of White Trash Cultural Shift →
Burp Cloths- How fancy should they be?
jiw: i think i like you.
Officially vegan again. I bought Tofurkey slices because for me, Tofurkey is the Gerber Graduate food for new vegans. I’m now a post post vegan. It’s like being born again!
Sock Monkeys and Other Fine Gifts
The internet installer asked me today where the Sock Monkeys on my mantle came from. He thought they were from some show or something. Well No, I said, they were part of American history. A classic American Toy. When I was little my mom would buy me this magazine, American Girl. I wish I had a different magazine. Like American Sock Monkey. That I would buy.